Thursday, April 28, 2005

Okay, answering posts this week has been exhausting, so this is a non-dating post. Mostly an update about my life.

Saturday, I'm going with Lori to see Family Guy Live.

I'm going with Joel to Saturday Night Rewritten this coming Sunday night. If anybody wants to join us, send me an e-mail so we can be on the lookout for you.

Anyone want to go see HHGTTG Friday night? Anyone? Anyone?

Next weekend, I'm going to Fell's Point to see Pam's art display at a coffee shop. If anybody wants to join me, let me know and we'll take the day trip on Saturday. If nobody joins me, I'll likely go on Friday for the free wine and cheese.

Over Memorial Day weekend, I'm taking a few days off from work and driving with my parents to the Boynton Beach area of Florida (near Ft. Lauderdale). If anybody is reading this blog and lives in the area, please save me from a weekend of doing nothing but hanging with the 'rents (I love my parents dearly. Honest. I just can't live with them for any length of time anymore).

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Another JDate story:

I'm not a paid member anymore, but sometimes I go on to check who's been looking at me (a sad habit, I know). There was this one, and I'm saying this as politely as I can, full-figured woman who has been haranguing and practically J-Stalking me. I dismissed her because I don't find very overweight women attractive (I've written of this before. If it helps, I feel really bad about it. Not bad enough, obviously).

In the case of this one woman, she got very persistent. She hotlisted me, teased me more than once, e-mailed me, and IMed me. Before my membership ended, I decided to e-mail her back (mostly because I admired her persistance when I obviously wasn't interested. The message was brief and didn't have any meaningful content). Big mistake.

Just tonight, she IMed me and gave me her number. Figuring I had nothing to lose at this stage, I called. Big mistake number two.

She was bossy, pushy, and was talking my ear off. I could barely get a word in edgewise. At one point, when she was talking about her desire to get married and have kids, she even got emotional. She then stepped away for a minute and asked if she could call me back in twenty minutes. I told her I was going to bed and was busy this weekend but would get back to her. Guess what I'm going to forget to do. Go on. Guess.

I'm concerned that she might call me back next week and try to set something up. Any ideas for responses if she does?

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

One of my little quirks that I am constantly harangued about in the comments is my supposed obsession with money and payment, particularly in terms of dating. Perhaps this stems from the fact that my father is a C.P.A. Perhaps it has to do with my education (undergrad in Math with a minor in Economics. Grad in Finance). However, the entire dating dynamic, in my opinion, has favored the woman for many generations and for there to be truly equal rights among all people this must change.

As soon as 40 years ago, the roles for men and women were clear. Men were workers and women were caretakers (or, as stated in "Defending the Caveman", men were hunters and women were gatherers). The man, who had the money and the property, courted the woman, who had different capabilties to offer in return (cooking, cleaning, child-bearing, etc.). In effect, marriage was a business negotiation for mutual benefit as much as anything else and that alone was enough to make both parties happy.

Now, women are making money in the workforce, yet they still expect to the be ones who are sought after like a prize. Because, even though they make an income, they're still not making the same as their male counterpart (I believe the statistic quoted to me was $.75 for every dollar). An article has been brought to my attention that proves this myth wrong. Women make approximately the same nowadays as their male counterpart. So where does that leave us?

I'm giving a homework assignment to all single women reading this: find a man you're interested in dating and ask him out. If he refuses, then the assignment is over. If he just want sex, then he's immature and doesn't respond well to sociological changes, and the assignment is over. If he accepts, then you must pay for the date. Don't gripe or complain about it (during the date anyway. Feel free to do so on a blog afterwards), just pay. Then report the results. If it leads to marriage, you owe me a wedding invitation.

Let the flames begin.

Monday, April 25, 2005

To begin, I got my free cone last week at Ben & Jerry's and got my free ice cream cake today at the Cold Stone Creamery. Also, I worked an open mic on the Upper West Side and who should walk in to the club during my set? Bob Dylan. I'm not kidding.

Because I seem to be unable to get a woman to stay with me for longer than four or five dates, I have taken to reading on the subject of dating. I'm reading "Dating for Dummies", which I got out of the library. I have decided to try one of the exercises from the book here. Basically, I use a lot of self-deprecating humor to the point where others actually join in and agree with me, and it's easy to forget one's own good points in that situation, so without further introduction:

10 Things I Love About Myself, by Bob:

1. I maintain a good relationship with my family.
2. I will offer to help my friends even if I'm not asked.
3. I have a hella-cool sense of humor.
4. I try to go out and be social.
5. I try to volunteer for charity events.
6. I am willing to listen to the opinions of others and take them into consideration.
7. I'm open-minded and willing to try new experiences.
8. Whenever I care about something, and I keep getting defeated, I keep trying.
9. Whenever I am excited about something, I project it and it becomes contagious (or perhaps just entertaining. Either way, it's good).
10. With regards to relationships, I am always respectful, honest, and loyal.

I'm adding a #11:
11. I write almost daily on this blog.

I am passing the stick to everybody reading this and encourage you all to post a similar list on your own blogs.

Sunday, April 24, 2005

What I did with my Passover Weekend, by Bob:

Friday night I met up with Val. We had dinner at the Mayrose and saw Melinda and Melinda, which was Woody Allen's attempt to resolve himself between his serious and comic screenwriting personas. Also, it has Will Ferrell doing a Woody Allen impression. It started slow, and was dialogue-heavy, but I did enjoy the movie.

Passover on Saturday was difficult for me. We had family and friends of family over from far and wide (the fact that it was on a Saturday night made it easier for everyone to come). Some relatives had another baby. Another friend got engaged. A 15 year old teen in attendance has been going with a girl for longer than I did in my longest relationship. And I get asked the same question, "Seeing anybody, Bob?". I smile and don't answer, because everyone knows what my answer is. It's been the same every year. I live for the day when I stop feeling like a disappointment.

On Sunday (today), I tried out the NYSC in Hoboken. I got a 1-week trial membership. I doubt I'll join (it's cost prohibitive), but I'll try to go at least once more. They even were giving out free massages and I got a good one for 15 minutes. The man giving it was so good, I even considered turning bisexual for half a second. Then I decided against that, because I have enough trouble just trying to date women.

Tonight it's watching DVDs and reading. I'll be home if you need me. Then, it's off to the work week!

Friday, April 22, 2005

My Passover Parody song for this year. To the tune of "It's a Small World". Special thanks to Bevit for the Hebrew translation and transliteration.

“It’s the Seder After All”

It’s a Meal of Matzah
A Meal of Wine
It’s a Meal of Brisket
On which we’ll dine.

There’s so much that we’ll eat
We won’t fit in our seat.
It’s the Se-der Meal.

It’s a Meal of Turkey
That tastes real dry
And we’ll ask four questions.
To find out why.

We’ll eat food by the score
With leftovers galore
It’s the Seder After All.

It’s the Seder After All.
It’s the Seder After All.
It’s the Seder After All.
It’s the Se-der Meal.

We had wandered the desert
It took some time
And Elijah the Prophet
Might drink some wine.

We all come for the food
So let’s get in the mood
It’s the Seder After All

It’s the Seder After All
It’s the Seder After All
It’s the Seder After All
It’s the Seder After All.

(Spanish)
Es el Seder después de todos
Es el Seder después de todos
Es el Seder después de todos
Es el Seder después de todos

(French)
C'est le Seder après tous
C'est le Seder après tous
C'est le Seder après tous
C'est le Seder après tous

(German!)
No, not German.
Oh, okay, German:
Es ist das Seder nach allen
Es ist das Seder nach allen
Es ist das Seder nach allen
Es ist das Seder nach allen

(Hebrew!)
(x is the guttural sound ‘ch’)
Ci Ze haSeder Axrei Hacol
Ci Ze haSeder Axrei Hacol
Ci Ze haSeder Axrei Hacol
Ci Ze haSeder Axrei Hacol

(And back to English!)
It’s the Seder After All
It’s the Seder After All
It’s the Seder After All
It’s the Seder After All.

HAPPY PASSOVER EVERYBODY (particularly the non-Jews)!

Thursday, April 21, 2005

Here's a nutty confession: I have a fear of winning the lottery or somehow instantly obtaining a large sum of money.

It's not getting the money that scares me. It's the fact that if I do get this money, I'm afraid that women would only be attracted to me for it and not for who I am. Dating would be easier, sure, but I would probably believe that whomever I'm seeing would only view me as a walking money tree.

Eventually, I would have to bring up a prenuptual agreement, and that would just kill the mood, if not the relationship.

Mind you, I could just give away the money to one of you....Nah.

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

I possess many bad habits, some of which have been detrimental to my dating life. One in particular has caused me a great deal of grief. Most who know me are aware of it and don't say anything in the interest of being polite.

I confess: I talk to myself in public sometimes. It originated from years of being alone in youth and having nobody else to talk to (much as Tom Hanks talked to the volleyball in "Castaway"). I imagine scenarios in my mind that leak out of my mouth. I must seem like one of those New York homeless people that wander around muttering to themselves. I should invest in one of those wireless headsets that come with cell phones, so if I'm wearing it and talking to myself, it will seem like I'm talking to someone else.

Those who have caught me undoubtedly think I have a screw loose (and they may be right). I now have responses for these people:
1. I talk to myself because it's the only way to guarantee intelligent conversation. (I got this one from "Blake's 7")
2. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
3. Don't worry. One of the voices in my head is a therapist, so I'll be fine.

I have tried to stop myself from this habit. If anybody catches me doing this, please hit me on the head with a mallet. Thanks.

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Today was Chris' birthday. Happy Birthday, Chris!

Pam has been writing more recently, including a really good article a few days ago about improving one's self-image. I encourage everyone to go read it.

I went to Trivia and played on Jess' team. We won (yay!). With her help, I thought of a good license plate for my car: IH8 2D8.

When I was much younger, I read a psychology article about the "horns" effect and the "halo" effect. I called it "charisma" and "anti-charisma", but it was fundamentally the same thing. It is only recently that I realized the "anti-charisma" I sometimes project comes from my poor sense of self. The thing is, I don't know how to change my self-perception. When I hit 30 and suffered what I will call a nervous breakdown (even though technically it wasn't), I made two major changes in my life to turn things around: keep busy with things I enjoy, and be social. The effect was positive, but what I perceive as the lack of success with the whole dating process remains a thorn in my side.

I have a tendency to put my conscious thoughts in a bad place, particularly when I'm alone and unoccupied. If I translated this to physical sensation, imagine a gnawing sickness in your gut that feels like it's sucking in the rest of your body like a black hole.

My new goal is to get rid of this. I hang on to past pain like a security blanket. I have to revamp myself with a newer image, which should interest new readers and increase sales.

Tomorrow, I will confess some bad habits I have. Stay tuned.

Monday, April 18, 2005

As many have noted, I haven't been writing about dating recently. This is because that, until today, I was seeing someone. It lasted five dates over two weeks. A personal record.

I met her at the blogger party a few weeks ago, so she knew about this blog. Already a strike against me. Who knows how much of it she read? I assume she read it all, just as I read hers end-to-end the day after I met her. She's probably reading this. Good.

As break-ups go, she did it better than anybody I've ever been with, I think. She gave me a decent chance over a reasonable amount of time and was very plain with her opinions. In this, she has earned my respect. She actually gave me the opportunity to perform something of an "exit interview". She thought I was "nice", but something about me made her "anxious". This wasn't a good "anxious" either (I do wish she could have better explained what about me made her anxious. This factor could be what makes women constantly turn away from me).

Two weeks. Five dates altogether. Each time, I gave her a small something. A flower. A book. A DVD. I really liked her. There was no doubt about it. I was "nice".

Do you recall where nice guys finish in the race?

Perhaps I should start treating the women I date like crap. Maybe I'll get better results then. The women reading this would probably disagree while the men would agree. War of the sexes and all that.

I noticed her lack of response to my advances (not the rude kind of advances. The nice kind, obviously, because I'm "nice"). I thought I could overcome it by acting the gentleman. How stupid am I? Pretty stupid, obviously.

It's really funny. I look over the dates with her, and can't find anything I said or did wrong. At the same time, everything I said and did was wrong, because I didn't achieve the desired result. Everything I said sounded awkward. It wasn't what I said, it was how I said it. The truth is, I was nervous. Because I was afraid of failing again. Because I liked her, and women have never, NEVER liked me back when I do. And I was right, yet again.

Failure builds character, right? Every day's a gift. Wishes can come true. Whistle while you work. Yadda yadda yadda.

My enemies rejoice at yet another defeat. I will blog again later.

Sunday, April 17, 2005

I'm typing this at my brand new office desk which is quite a sweet piece of work. My brother gave it to me since it didn't fit in his new house. I just got the computer and Internet working, so I'm blogging.

On Saturday night, I went on a "Haunted NYC" walking tour in the East Village. Two things happened of note: First, when visiting the Public Theater, our group noticed Ashton Kutcher (possibly with Demi Moore) hurriedly walking in (there was a suddenly flash of photographers around him). I noticed he shot me a nasty glance. He probably knows that I'm the father of Demi Moore's baby. Britney Spear's kid is mine as well. Don't tell anyone.

The second thing was when in Soho, we were being told a ghost story of a spirit occupying a certain house on Spring Street, when the door of the very house suddenly opened of the house and a woman walked out holding what looked like a sack of laundry. The tour gave out a collective gasp, then proceeded to laugh hysterically. The woman probably thought we were all nuts. I guess you had to be there.

The tour itself was fair (and I think I'm begin generous). Not what I'd hoped it would be, but I think a good time was still had by all.

Another week begins. Have a good one.

Friday, April 15, 2005

I had a fun time at the birthday party of Chris. I saw some faces that I haven't seen live for a while and met some new people. His actual birthday is Tuesday.

For now, another Passover parody written by yours truly in 2002:

(to the tune of "The Rainbow Connection")
Why are there so many songs about Seder?
And what’s on the other side?
Seders are dinners, but without the croutons.
And reading that Haggadah guide.

We’ve done it too many years to ignore it.
And we’re not yet done, wait and see.
Someday we’ll find it, the darn Afikoman.
The presents, the singing, and glee.

Who says that every year, we sit at the table
And wait for Elijah to come?
He’s not arrived yet, so we’ll keep on sitting.
Until our poor buttocks get numb.

So it’s been told, 40 years in the desert.
To wander, meander, and rome.
Never once thought to just ask for directions.
To find a much faster route home.

Thursday, April 14, 2005

I had a bit of a blog-related scare today. My blog wasn't loading and I thought "uh oh. Work has finally wised up and started blocking my blog site". It turns out that I didn't completely publish the site when I made a minor change. I republished again hours later and it worked fine.

It got me thinking about my usage of the Internet at work. Then I decided I will continue to do so (until it's taken away again).

One subject I very carefully avoid on this blog is work (why blog about that when dating is such a fun and voluminous topic). I work in a brokerage firm and I get paranoid that posting anything work-related is tantamount to insider trading, which gets one fired and imprisoned with some large gentleman named Bubba who ends up becoming your husband. No thanks.

At my family Seder, we have a tradition of singing song parodies before the festive meal. In honor of the coming holiday (which would be Passover, just to clarify for the non-Jews), I reproduce one of the songs here. It was one of the first ones my father did, written about 15 years ago, and is to the tune of "Easter Parade":

Munching on your matzoh
While saying the four questions
You'll be the grandest person
At the Seder, today.

Moror makes you quiver
While eating your chopped liver
You'll be the grandest person
At the Seder, today.

On the Temple steps, sitting down.
The Rabbi says, with a frown:
I know at your table
You'll eat only food with a Passover label.

Munching on your matzoh
While saying the four questions
You'll be the grandest person
At the Seder, today.

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

No one has passed me the stick, I am therefore handling my own stick. No change there.

You're stuck inside Fahrenheit 451, which book do you want to be?

I would want to be the book "Fahrenheit 451". This is because, as everyone knows, being stuck in the same novel in the fictional world as the novel you are stuck in is, in fact, a portal back to the real world. Anybody who has seen episodes of the SuperFriends or Futurama knows this.

Have you ever had a crush on a fictional character?

In my life, I have only had crushes on fictional characters.

The last book you bought is:

I will assume this question is about the last book I bought for myself.I have recently purchased books for other people, but I don't know if that counts. I bought a comic book for myself. It was good eatin'.

The last book you read:

The Kite Runner. I've already written thoughts on this.

What are you currently reading?

A computer screen.

Five books you would take to a deserted island:

1. Escaping from Being Trapped on a Deserted Island For Dummies.

2. The Complete Idiots' Guide to Getting Off a Deserted Island.

3. Zagat's Guide to Surviving and Leaving a Deserted Island.

4. Let's Go Anywhere But A Deserted Island.

5. Carrie Pilby

Who are you going to pass this stick to (3 persons) and why?

I will pass this stick to either myself or any female volunteers. Any volunteers?

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Finally, a format change. There was much rejoicing. Yay.

A condo is being sold in my building. Same number of bedrooms and baths as mine and about the same square footage. The asking price is 50% higher than what I paid less than a year ago. This means that I've made a 50% ROI in a year. Yet I still have money issues. Go figure.

I'm staying in tonight, because I'm tired.

I haven't had much to say about relationships lately. I guess it's because I'm not using any online services anymore. Becky had a post about the subject today, if anybody wants to chime in. She said some nice things about this blog, too. When I think of something to write, I'll let you know.

Monday, April 11, 2005

Let's start from the very beginning. A very good place to start...

My mother just informed me that she went to high school with Zach Braff's father. I immediately asked her if she had sex with the man and Zach Braff was, in fact, my illegitimate half-brother. She said "no".

I have a question. Why is it that in "Buffy the Vampire Slayer", vampires are caused pain by crucifixes when, in fact, vampires predate the existance of crosses by millions of years? Did the crucifix icon exist before Christianity and the Christians just co-opted it for their own use? This sort of thing keeps me awake at night.

Sunday, April 10, 2005

It's an utterly gorgeous day out, so natch I'm inside blogging. Seriously, I'm just killing an hour before I head out to a birthday party I was invited to in the Village. I've already taken two walks outside today. This is why Spring is my favorite season.

The only thing of note that happened this weekend is that on Saturday I was called in to stop a demon invasion from another dimension that was taking place at Coney Island. With a little help, I managed to stop it in about 45 minutes. Then I stopped in and saw the New York Aquarium. It was a good day.

The rest of my weekend was spent reading a book that was lent to me: The Kite Runner. You know, judging by the title, I thought this book was about a divorced man with his daughter flying a kite in a park when a thunderstorm comes out of nowhere, strikes his kite (to which he is holding the other end), and imbues him with super-speed. Upon learning this, some evil corporate/government types kidnap his daughter to get the secret of his power. Fortunately, a beautiful female inside agent assists him in saving his daughter and giving the bad guys their come-uppance. The man and woman fall in love and live happily ever after.

The book was nothing like this. It was good, though.

Thursday, April 07, 2005

Federal and State governments: here are the taxes I owe you. I hope you choke on them.

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Things that are happening in Manhattan, according to Time Out Magazine, that I would have an interest in going to if I had the time/money:

Museum of Television and Radio: Daily Show writers including Stephen Colbert talk about the show. Thursday April 7th, 7 P.M. $15.

Barnes and Noble: Lewis Black is signing his book again. Wednesday April 13th, 7:30 P.M.

Museum of Modern Art: Interview with the actors of Spinal Tap and Bob Balaban (a movie, not live). Free with museum admission. $10 otherwise.

There's also a Brooklyn Jewish Film Festival at the BAM that looks interesting.

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

I just came in from Trivia and I'm posting late, so this one will be brief. The Blogette responded to something I said regarding men paying for dates (no surprise there), so I'm probably going to write sometime in the future about the differences in the sexes with regards to money. But not today.

My team ("The Great White Pope") came in last. We got a Nestle Crunch. Go team!

Now, just a brief opinion: I think rather than bury the Pope, his corpse should be consumed by the Christian masses. That's right. They should eat the Pope. I recall a piece of the New Testament in which Jesus asks his disciples to eat of his flesh and drink of his blood, so obviously cannibalism goes back to the very origins of that religion.

The question is: if they did eat the Pope, how would he be served?

Monday, April 04, 2005

UPDATE: GAME NIGHT HAS BEEN CANCELLED due to an overwhelming lack of interest. I feel like the pariah who throws a party and nobody comes. Oh well. I plan on hosting a movie night in the June/July timeframe at my condo. Everybody try to keep your schedules clear and don't plan anything for June or July.

I'm blogging early this evening because my frickin' cartooning basics class was cancelled for third time since I started the thing. The first time was due to a snowstorm, so that's understandable. The second time was because the professor was ill. Okay, but I wish I had more advance notice. But a third time? Enough is enough. There are only twelve classes total. Yeesh.

The Blogette writes a message about the merits of going on a date with someone you have a modicum of interest for. As a note, it's easier to take the risk when ettiquette dictates that the meal (or even coffee) will be paid for by the other person. Let the flames begin.

I thought of another amusing bit of fictional dialogue. Here it is:
HER: Why are you smiling?
HIM: I'm happy to see you.
HER: For real.
HIM: Okay, I'm picturing you naked.
HER: That's better.

I had a wonderful time Saturday night (I either went out to dinner or saved the universe from the evil forces of Skeletor. I forgot which). My heavy-duty umbrella was destroyed by gale-force winds while I was walking to my destination, but the result was well worth the loss. On Sunday, I visited my brother, sister-in-law, and niece (who just turned four). I always like hearing my niece's philosophies. For example, I ask her "what's the difference between boys and girls?" She has no answer yet, God bless her.

Sunday, April 03, 2005

The New Who Review:

Over the weekend, I watched the first episode of the new "Doctor Who" series put out by the BBC starring Christopher Eccleston. Much like with "Sin City", my review is more about my personal feelings regarding the show.

First a primer: "Doctor Who" is a BBC television show about a hero Time Lord from the planet Gallifrey who can travel in time and space in his ship called the TARDIS. Whenever the main character, the Doctor, dies, he regenerates into a completely different person allowing the program to continue with a different actor in the main role. As a result, the show lasted 26 years on the BBC before being axed in 1989. Now, except for a television movie in 1996, it has been relaunched.

When I was a freshman in high school, a notably nerdy senior introduced me to "Doctor Who". It had already been on for over 20 years. The concept had intrigued me. It was about a man who travelled in time and space and did only good things. Despite finding many travelling companions in his adventures, he always seemed lonely, but he was never sad. This struck a chord with me.

In high school, as mentioned, I was quite the uber-nerd. There were rumors flying that I was constructed from the parts of lesser nerds. To like "Doctor Who" in high school, you truly had to be a nerd (even "Star Trek" was more forgivable). The show had pathetic special effects (hey, it was the BBC. It's like PBS in England) and was essentially written for children. Even the title was silly.

However, the show was always clever and, if written for children, they had to be very bright children. The wonderful thing about the show was that the next adventure could take place anywhere and anywhen. If you wanted to do a show in Roman times, you could. If you wanted to do a show on the planet Skaro (homeworld of the evil Daleks), you could. There were no limits.

When the show ended, original novels were released geared more towards adults, first by Virgin publishing, then by the BBC. I had stopped with Doctor Who for a little while. When I picked up the books, I got excited about Doctor Who again. I even wrote a few pieces of fan fiction for the show that are still floating around the Internet, if you know where to look. Eventually, that enthusiasm faded as well. I ended up selling my books and VHS tapes of the series.

When I watched the opening credits of the new series, and the new, modern special effects, I remembered why I liked the show in the first place. The show has been reformatted to a single 45 minute adventure (as opposed to four-parters of 25 minutes a piece) and is geared more for intelligent 'tweens. In short, I loved it. The best line of the show was when the Doctor picks up a British version of People magazine and says "That won't work out. He's gay and she's an alien".

Of course, it dealt with an invasion of Earth by alien monsters (an old nemesis from the program called the Autons). However, other than the use of that alien, the program didn't really acknowledge the tremendous history of the show. Understandable, since they're trying to acclimate a new generation to the program, but I found it personally disappointing.

I did enjoy the program, but I'm waiting out to watch further episodes and see how things develop. I recognize many of the writers of the program as people who wrote the original novels during the time I read them, so I know the Doctor is in good hands. To sum up, the new series is off to a good start.

Saturday, April 02, 2005

As mentioned, I saw "Sin City" last night. It was a kick-ass movie, visually stunning, and definitely not a "chick flick". There isn't a sensitive moment in the whole picture that doesn't have an ulterior motive.

There are many reviews out there for this movie right now, but mine will be relating my own experience and why I particularly enjoyed it.

Way back in high school, I was quite unpopular, and considered rather weird. I didn't really care about popular music, sports, or fashion. However, something I knew like a Harvard scholar was the comics industry. In the mid 80's, the industry underwent a boom when DC revamped it's main characters, the most notable of which was a change in the character of Batman done by a writer/artist named Frank Miller, who had previous revamped "Daredevil" for Marvel comics into a cool character (several famous plotlines from the Miller comics were seen in the recent Daredevil movie with Ben Affleck). The series was called "The Dark Knight Returns" and was the coolest comic I had ever read up to that point. It was finally a superhero comic for adults, told in a film-noir cinematic style.

Miller eventually left DC and went to an independent comic company called Dark Horse, where he created several titles, including "Sin City". If "The Dark Knight Returns" was a superhero story told in a film-noir style, "Sin City" was film-noir, plain and simple.

The movie was essentially a retelling of the Sin City comics, using the panels drawn by Miller as storyboards (which is why Frank Miller gets co-directing credit for the movie). Quentin Tarantino, whose style was influenced by Miller's comics, also directs a segment of the movie. It should be noted that Miller himself has a brief cameo as a priest.

While watching this movie, I felt as if I was in high school reading "The Dark Knight Returns" again. Men are loner tough guys and make no apologies for it, trying to force an immoral world to make sense. Women are tigers who use their sexiness as weapons as much as guns (or swords, or shuriken). The stories are about doing what's right in a corrupt world, a tale that has been retold since Shakespeare's "Hamlet" (definitely a guy thing).

It's appropriate that the movie is in black and white (with some computerized shadings of color), because Sin City's moral center is similarly black and white. Another interesting note that the movie is almost all CGI, similar to "Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow". In the case of the latter, the director was trying to recreate the atmosphere of the sci-fi serials of the 30's.

I have read "The Dark Knight Returns" more times than I can count. Two years ago, I got Frank Miller to sign my leatherbound copy of the book. I still remember lines from it:
"I come alive again. The night is mine again."
"Joker, there's nothing wrong with you that I can't fix. With my hands."

They sound silly when said out loud, but damn they get the blood pumping. Similar lines are spoken throughout Sin City. This is why I profoundly enjoyed this movie.

On a separate subject, even if I had never read the series and wasn't a big fan of it and owned a leatherbound edition of it, simply based on the clever trailer I saw before the feature began ("You notice that all movie trailers feature the voice of a man who sounds seven feet tall that has been smoking cigarettes since he was 11 years old"), I would be going to see "The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy" at the end of this month.

Friday, April 01, 2005

I just saw "Sin City" in digital projection with Eric and Chris. To say the least, I enjoyed it. I would write a review, but I'm kind of tired. A full review will be posted soon.

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